Dude! I really appreciate the questions this scholarship asks because it truly made me think about who I am and where I fit in this world. My answer to question 2 really hit home because I now realize how valuable the idea of purpose has been to me. I've always wondered to myself about why I seemed to be soooo nosy about the affairs of people's lives and why they seemed to open up to me sometimes. I told myself that I'm not nosy to gossip about it, so why do I do it? Isn't nosiness supposed to be a bad thing? Didn't curiosity kill the cat? I had taken a closer look at who I am and I realized that I'm nosy because I like to understand someone's reasons why they make the choices they make and by the end of the conversation I have a better idea who they are and so do they. So, that's why I may seem so nosy because I get pleasure from asking questions that forces a person to think about who they are and viceversa. Sometimes when I do this with some people they cop out with the "I don't know" statement because they either have trust issues and would rather talk to someone closer to them or they don't feel like thinking at all; at that point I just hope they take the time to think about the questions later. I don't consider myself a religious person rather spiritually aware; otherwise I wouldn't have been able to give myself the title: God of Inquiry; this name really makes a strong statement of the type of person I am. This is all coming together for me, thanks to the Gaia Community. If self awareness is one of the things they wanted to accomplish for each scholarship applicant, I can truly say it worked for me.

After the first year of school was over I wasn't ready to go back home. I've done some things during last semester that my parents didn't agree with, especially since we live under Christian standards. Throughout the whole summer, I was called a lazy carnal minded girl who just goes to college to waste time and money, and a girl who shouldn't be trusted in a room alone with another guy; it was only my first year.

Most of the time I thought it was true because I felt that my family could tell me about myself better than I could. I worked and took two courses during the summer yet they still weren't convinced I had changed and neither was I. Later I realized that I had a choice to make. I could continue to believe that I couldn't change and be who they expected me to be or I could fight by proving them wrong.

Years of being underestimated and stereotyped will either make us or break us. There were many times I've thought about fighting those who've disrespected me; there were many times I've had fleeting thoughts of killing myself just to get back at my family for making me feel useless; there were many times I've thought to end my spiritual relationship with God and give up everything I valued in life, including my education, my purpose; since they said I couldn't do it then why try?

Before the summer break had ended I had realized that at the end of the day it comes down to how we examine ourselves, and not how others examine us. Later we come to understand that the only thing worse than being underestimated is when we underestimate ourselves.